Autumn must come soon

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Chaos are beautiful,
Terrifyingly wonderful like a tornado
I Want to be caught in the wind
Like a leaf in the fall
Carefree,aimless,oblivious of where I must go
I just want to break free,
Drift and dance,
Unaware that in that moment I am part of an art
I want to live the chaos,
Watch them unfold into cosmic revelations
Oh! How I miss the voices in my head
Humming through my solitude
How I plead,autumn must come soon
For every person we love
Is but shackles and chains cutting into tender skin
And I am bound to what would someday
Shake me off when I am dry
For something green

RUST

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Why must I do this to myself;
Stab myself with your dagger?
How does it gnaw at my skin
Even when it is powerless:
Vandalised at the hands of rust?

Why do I find myself at your doorstep
When I am not sure which road to take?
When I know the locks have changed?

Why do I lie to myself this often?
I am no saint
Yes,the reflection of someone else in your eyes,
The two of you smiling
Impales me
So why do I look in through the goddamned window
Even when the other side is not where I want to be.