I waited all those years
For a star to fall from the sky
To wish upon it
For you to fall for me,
Tonight it did,
And I wished for someone to love me
Like I loved you,
After all these years
Of burning my way through
dreams and disasters to you
Only to find you
Flinching away from the flames
I didn’t need a falling star
To tell me
You were not worth its dying wish
Impervious veins hold
the grieving drops of ruby back,
Rust constellates over my skin
And the black depths of my wounds
are filled with the fragments of time
Spent forgetting you
But in dark hours of dawnless nights
When my eyes seek you, not light
I pick and scratch at scabs of healing hurt
To bleed remembrance
And catch a glimpse of you
I will meet you where dew drops wet the lips of leaves,
Where clouds caress the moon,
Where rain drops fill the cracks in scarred rocks,
Where tress hold hands beneath the ground
I will meet you in places
Where unconventional, unglorified lovers entwine,
Beneath the surface, cloistered and dark
Within the crevices of universe
And in undiscovered galaxies
Where our stories are sung by lost stars
He says, Years have passed
Have they, love ?
I would still break into tears
If you hold me
Would you wipe them away
Like that day though?
Would you hug me tight,
trembling hands buried in my hair
And let your sigh at the nape of my neck
Say goodbye?
Or this time will you let go and cry?
He says years have passed
But after all these years the moment hasn’t
It’s frozen where our lips last met
Immune to the whims of time and space
Every time we think of each other
We are still locked in that embrace
Darling, we never finished saying our goodbyes
I could keep writing for years
And never run out of words for you
But I don’t know how to put these mere alphabets together
To paint your eyes
And their transcendent hues
I don’t know if I can ever exactly describe their colour
And how they looked under the sun
When we were walking into the woods
And you smiled at me
I cross my heart
I wouldn’t call myself a poet
Until I find the word for it-
The tincture
that haunts my thoughts
With sunkissed horizons and sunset blues
If only, humans had wishbones
It would be easier
to trap scampish desires
Beating their way out of tired,
infiltrated rib cages
They help birds fight,
Well may be we could win the constant fight
Between what the heart wants and what it should
And may be all those times
When we kill our own dreams
Or watch them getting trampled
under some other feet
And a sigh of “only if” gets stuck in our throats
They would get caught in our wish bones instead
Which when pulled apart
Will atlast let out a sigh of hope
And make wishes come true
This time,
I didn’t lose the key
I lost the darned lock
Your name on my lips
Sounds like a prayer
Held back for long
Behind gritted teeth,
Bitten tongue
Of a pretentious atheist
And in moments of bareness,
When I crumble and say it
Your name sounds like a hymn
I have always been enough
But you reach into arcane corners of me
And show me I am so much more
than all that I have discovered
I am not lost, not broken
But we find new pieces of me sometimes
and you tell me, I am an adventure
I loved you so much
I would have walked
Along the edge of a hundred swords
To reach you if you needed me,
I loved you like a drop of tear in your eyes
Was the poison that could kill me
And I would rather have had
my heart ripped out
Than let anybody else in
I don’t know how I did that,
Stood still
and listned to the wail
of your breaking heart
But now I clamp my hands over my ears
To drown the echo and go to sleep,
When I do,
You are the nightmare or the dream
Now when I look for traces of me in your life
I hope to find more of those photographs
We are smiling in
And not the scars that left you bleeding words,
Empty eyed,
If someday they remind you of me
And you wonder
If I spent last night thinking about us,
I want you to know
I did
I loved you so much
I thought I would die without you
And you know, I did.
We blame the storm
for blowing us apart
but did we hold hands?
You hate my dagger
but tell me
why did you turn your back?
You are right
The fault wasn’t yours
I was always on the otherside ,
Looking through the glass
May be I shouldn’t have let you
Keep me like a butterfly
In your glass jar
Aren’t we all afraid
that it’s all going to end
before we are ready
for the curtains to drop
and we will never find out
what happens next
but we almost did,
Aren’t we all terrified of missing,
Where we close our fists around it
but open them and find nothing ,
Almosts are hauntingly painful
I think she never loved me
is better than she almost did
I think she never was mine
is better than she almost was
I believe in magic
I see shooting stars and snowfall
and it feels like this enchanted planet
For a moment,
Lost control over its power
Or perhaps, just let go,
Gave us a sign,
So we could believe in miracles
So we would never lose hope
Chaos are beautiful,
Terrifyingly wonderful like a tornado
I Want to be caught in the wind
Like a leaf in the fall
Carefree,aimless,oblivious of where I must go
I just want to break free,
Drift and dance,
Unaware that in that moment I am part of an art
I want to live the chaos,
Watch them unfold into cosmic revelations
Oh! How I miss the voices in my head
Humming through my solitude
How I plead,autumn must come soon
For every person we love
Is but shackles and chains cutting into tender skin
And I am bound to what would someday
Shake me off when I am dry
For something green
Why must I do this to myself;
Stab myself with your dagger?
How does it gnaw at my skin
Even when it is powerless:
Vandalised at the hands of rust?
Why do I find myself at your doorstep
When I am not sure which road to take?
When I know the locks have changed?
Why do I lie to myself this often?
I am no saint
Yes,the reflection of someone else in your eyes,
The two of you smiling
Impales me
So why do I look in through the goddamned window
Even when the other side is not where I want to be.
You are the firmament draped over my existence ,
glittering in moonlight
And I am the seven seas
Contained in your heart,
Rising and falling with every breath
I reflect your azure
You,my darkness
You are heaven
And I,Earth
Who can ever map us together?
Yet we meet
Such that no eye can see
Where you end and I begin
Distance can’t stop whats meant to be
The heady scent of your breath
Tickles my memory
Leaving ripples of sleepless nights
On my sheets,
I open my eyes to your deliquescing face,
Bracing for the familiar ache
But suddenly it does not hurt anymore,
Suddenly your absence is not a gaping hole
Grief fails to paralyse me
I think of how much I loved you
And memories resuscitate your presence,
The trail of your kisses
Whisper along my collarbone
And the hearse at long last
Disappears from view
Dont rattle its cage
Let it sleep
Until its desires are tamed
Make no noise
Let the silence scent its breath
Until your name becomes the forgotten jingle
Of a bell around its neck
I am not afraid of love
I put it to sleep
in the chambers of my heart
and slit its throat
I am not scared of you
Your pretty face couldn’t be a nightmare
if it wanted to
You have no weapons
Just hearts and flowers
Those flowers will wilt
and the heart wont beat if I pull it out
I am saving myself
from the parasite inside me
and you think
I am running from you?
You dont have to hush your demons
Or slather smiles on your scars
When I sway to the rhythm of your hips
Our demons dance together
To the song of the stars
Baby dont you shy away from the light
Or be shamed by your dark
The cadence of love
In the beat of your heart
Fills the night
Like the song of the lark
aphroditeanderson 